Dear friends

This may come as a surprise, but I’ve decided to buy a home.

It’s my first time buying one.

Also my first time taking out a loan.

Lately, I’ve been watching nothing but YouTube videos like:
“Rent vs Buy: The Final Verdict!”,
“Top 5 Things You Must NEVER Do When Buying a Home!!”,
or “ The Common Traits of People Who Go Bankrupt from Their Mortgage!!!”

And as these all-knowing, battle-hardened experts shout advice from every corner of the internet, my brain is now filled to the brim with "!!!" .

Still, after upgrading to the paid version of ChatGPT and running simulation after simulation, I’ve arrived at a (pretty solid) conclusion that I’d like to share with all of you:

I am probably going to be poor for a while.

There it is.

Well ...maybe not 'becoming' poor, exactly.
If we’re being honest, I’ve been pretty poor up to this point already.
But now, by buying a house, I will at least own an asset—
you could even say this marks my transition from a laborer to a capitalist.

So I won’t be poor.

But my disposable income will drop drastically.

Apparently, my monthly expenses are going to double.

Because I’m taking out a mortgage!

I don’t even know how mortgages work yet, but I’m getting one anyway.

So I may not be poor, but I’ll probably become pretty stingy.

My landlord Max, who owns the attic room I currently live in, has been a kind of mentor in my house-buying challenge.

He told me that one of the key strategies he used to get the capital to buy his first home was : 

"Don’t buy anything."

Only buy what you need. Don’t buy what you don’t.
No car, no sofa, no TV, no excess clothing, no expensive holidays, no nights out, no regular visits to cafés, restaurants, or bars.
By not owning a car for over four decades, he estimates he saved around €500,000.

I’ve never owned a car anyway.
I don’t even have a license, so I’ve always been saving money there.

No kids either—add another million euros in savings.
And thanks to Max’s generosity, I’ve been living with incredibly low rent,
which means I’ve probably saved about €20,000 over the past five years.

Where did all the money go…?

I thought I’d been saving.

Anyway, that’s not the point. 

The point is:

Movies, theater, museums, clothes, travel, cafés, restaurants…

I might actually start cutting back on those things.

When I reviewed my budget, I realized how much of it went to social spending.

Living in the Netherlands is expensive.

If you want to sit down and really talk things through with a friend at a café, you're looking at a minimum of €15.

lunch is around €30, and dinner? About €60.

Transport, small gifts, cute little things I pick up while out with friends, and the “I’ve got this one!” moments at cafés...

So to all my dear friends, please keep this in mind:
I might become less social from now on.
But it’s not because I like you any less.
It’s just that I’ve turned into a cheapskate.
Because ...I have a mortgage now! 

The me who didn’t fuss about money and was happy to go with the flow?
That version of me is gone.
I’ve calculated and calculated and calculated.
And I’ve concluded that the amount I can afford to spend per friend is about €5 per meetup.
At least for the first five years.

Sorry to say, but hanging out with me is now a €5 experience from now on.  

But we can still have a great time at the park or at each other’s homes.

If you’re inviting me from far away and I say,　

“Ahh, I have something on that day—so unfortunate,”

that might be code for “ phhh ... the subway isn’t free, after all.. .” 

No, no, I’m just joking—of course, most likely I really do have plans.

But still, the safest bet is to come visit me in my town.

From now on, I’ll only go to concerts with free admission,
and I won’t visit museums that don’t accept the Museumkaart.
Take Museum Voorlinden, for example—
just thinking about how much I love that museum makes my heart ache.
But I won’t go.

If you really want to go with me, well… 

you could buy my ticket too, maybe?

Also, the coffee at the museum café... on you. 

“Fine then, forget you.”
Please don’t say that to someone with a mortgage.
People often end up isolated when they start putting money first.
I get that.
But sometimes, there are moments in life when money has to matter more than friends.
Still, I believe the time will come when you will matter a hundred times more.

I have old parents.
They live in Japan, I live in the Netherlands, so we rarely see each other.
Luckily, my brothers live near them, so I don’t have to worry about them dying alone.
But I carry the guilt of rarely showing my face to the people who love me most.
I call them once a week.

Once, I apologized to my mother for not visiting more often. 

Then she said:

“Even when people live nearby, they hardly ever come.
You end up not knowing anything about their lives.
If you don’t talk, it’s like they don’t exist.
But we talk every week.
Even if I can’t see your face, hearing your voice is like having you here.
You’re far away, but you’re actually the closest of all.”

That’s it, isn’t it?
Even if we don’t meet in person, as long as we keep updating each other,
we stay just as close.

So with that in mind, I’ve decided to start a blog.

Please bookmark it and check it out now and then when you’re thinking of me.
That way, we’ll always stay friends.

If you hear someone say,
“She doesn’t hang out anymore,”
please share my blog with them.
So they’ll know: she has a mortgage now.

Having lived abroad for many years, my friends come from all over the world.
So I figured—why not write this blog in multiple languages,
so my friends can read it in the ones they understand best?

Here’s the Japanese version.
The Dutch version is here.
And here’s the Russian version.

For those learning languages, it might even be fun to compare how different phrases are translated.

So, that’s the news.
My house-buying project has just begun.
I don’t know if it’ll actually go through, but I’ll do my best to make it happen.

Though I may seem a bit distant for a while, please continue to keep me in your heart.